Can We Do an Adults Only Wedding?

Absolutely, you can. And honestly? You don't need anyone's permission to make that choice.

Here at The Scarborough House, we've watched countless couples wrestle with this decision. Should we invite kids? Will Aunt Sarah be upset if we don't include her toddler? What if half our guest list can't come because of childcare?

Take a deep breath. Let's talk through this together: the same way we do with every couple who walks through our historic doors.

Why Couples Choose Adults-Only Celebrations

The reasons are as unique as you are. Maybe your venue has space limitations. Maybe your budget is already stretched thin, and adding kids means fewer resources for the things that matter most to you. Or maybe: and this is completely valid: you simply envision your wedding day as an elegant, sophisticated celebration where adults can truly relax and connect.

There's no wrong reason. Your wedding should reflect your vision, your values, and your comfort level. Period.

At The Scarborough House, we've hosted both styles beautifully. Some couples fill our three private acres with children's laughter echoing across the cotton fields. Others prefer candlelit dinners under the stars, where conversations flow freely and dancing goes late into the night. Both create magic: just different kinds.

Setting Expectations From Day One

The secret to a smooth adults-only wedding? Clarity from the beginning. No guesswork. No assumptions. No awkward conversations later.

Start with your save-the-dates. If you're planning an adults-only celebration, let people know early. A simple, graceful line works perfectly:

"We kindly request that our special day be an adult-only celebration."

Your invitations should be crystal clear too. Address each invitation specifically to the adults you're inviting: no children's names included. If you're using formal inner and outer envelopes, the inner envelope should list only the invited adults' names and titles.

Leverage your wedding website. This is one of your most powerful communication tools. Create a dedicated section: maybe called "Details" or "Celebration Information": where you can share your adults-only decision warmly and clearly.

Graceful Communication Strategies 💬

Be direct but kind. You don't need to over-explain or apologize for your choice. A straightforward approach respects everyone's time and prevents confusion.

Pick up the phone for close family. Sometimes a personal conversation goes further than any written explanation. Call your immediate family members or closest friends who might be affected. Share your excitement about your day, then mention the adults-only decision as part of your overall vision.

Stay consistent. If you set an age rule: say, no guests under 16: stick to it. Making exceptions for some children and not others creates hurt feelings and appears unfair. The only widely accepted exception? Nursing mothers who need to bring infants.

Handling Pushback With Grace

Let's be honest: not everyone will immediately understand or agree with your decision. And that's okay. Some guests might ask questions. Others might request exceptions. A few might even decline your invitation due to childcare concerns.

Here's what we've learned from years of hosting weddings: most people will respect your boundaries once they understand this is important to you. The key is responding with warmth and confidence, not defensiveness.

Sample responses that work:

• "We're so excited to celebrate with you! We've decided on an adults-only celebration to keep things intimate."
• "We completely understand if childcare makes it difficult to attend. We'll miss you, but we hope to celebrate with you soon after!"
• "We've kept our guest list to adults only, but we'd love to plan a separate get-together with the whole family soon."

Venue Considerations in Eastern North Carolina

Every venue has its own personality and policies. Here in the greater Raleigh area, you'll find everything from elegant ballrooms to rustic barns to historic estates like ours. Some venues naturally lend themselves to adults-only celebrations: think sophisticated wine tastings, late-night dancing, or intimate dinner parties.

At The Scarborough House, we're family-owned and deeply rooted in Southern hospitality. We've celebrated with multi-generational families where grandparents dance with toddlers, and we've hosted elegant soirées where couples toast under centuries-old oak trees. What matters most is that your day feels authentically you.

Our only standing rule? Safety first. Because we have a beautiful pool surrounded by our gardens, we require that any children remain supervised at all times and that the pool gate stays closed. But beyond that essential safety measure, we're here to help create whatever vision brings you joy.

Going the Extra Mile for Your Guests

Want to be especially thoughtful? Consider helping your guests with childcare solutions. While we don't provide childcare at The Scarborough House, we've seen couples get creative:

• Hiring professional babysitters to watch children at a separate location during the wedding
• Partnering with local childcare services for the weekend
• Renting a nearby Airbnb as a "kids' headquarters" with trusted family members
• Providing a list of recommended local babysitters

These gestures show your guests that you care about their needs while maintaining your vision for the day. It's hospitality and boundaries working together beautifully.

The Eastern North Carolina Wedding Culture

Here in our corner of North Carolina, we understand family. Community runs deep, and celebrations often bring together multiple generations. That makes the adults-only decision feel especially significant: and sometimes challenging: for local couples.

But here's what we've observed: when couples communicate their vision clearly and early, most families rally around their happiness. Eastern NC folks appreciate honesty and directness. They'd rather know your expectations upfront than navigate confusion later.

Plus, our region offers incredible resources for couples who want to support their guests with childcare. From Raleigh to Wilson, Clayton to Greenville, you'll find experienced childcare professionals who understand wedding timelines and can help make your celebration possible for everyone.

A Final Thought From Our Family to Yours

Every couple who chooses The Scarborough House brings their own beautiful vision. Whether you picture children running barefoot through our cotton fields at golden hour 🌅 or an intimate adults-only evening where meaningful conversations flow as freely as the wine ✨, our goal remains the same: to create a day filled with love, beauty, and authentic connection.

Your wedding day should feel like you. If an adults-only celebration aligns with your vision, embrace it confidently. The right people will understand and celebrate alongside you, creating memories that last far beyond the last dance.

At The Scarborough House, we're honored to be part of your story: whatever beautiful form it takes.

We're Local. Support Local. 🤝

The Scarborough House is a locally owned and operated business, and we sincerely hope to encourage couples to discover the value of choosing locally owned venues and vendors. With locally owned businesses, you'll often find a higher level of hospitality, better communication, and a genuine desire to make your wedding exceed expectations.

We're thrilled to support other venue owners across the country who share that same heart for hospitality. You can find locally owned wedding venues featured here:

📍 Sparks Museum & Event Center
📍 Lonestar Oaks
📍 Adler Ranch
📍 617 Palofax Wharf
📍 Chateau Joli Venue
📍 Cornerstone Ranch
📍 The Ma Maison
📍 Emerald Acres Events
📍 Round Barn Farm
📍 SpringHaus Farm